1. Be stuck in an elevator for a little while or run out of gas in the middle of the desert?
2. Always fall asleep in inappropriate situations or never sleep at all?
3. Be single for the rest of your life or marry Amanda Bynes?
4. Puke rainbows or fart candy?
5. Ride the bus naked or twerk in front of a group of senior citizens?
6. Shake your eyebrows or pluck your armpits?
7. Be a stripper or be a hobo?
8. Eat raw bacon or drink spoiled milk?
9. Be only sexually attracted to fruit or not be sexually attracted to anything?
10. Have penises for fingers or a finger for a penis?
11. Be alive during a Zombie Apocalypses or a Pandemic?
12. Have Cheeto fingers for the rest of your life or have a popcorn kernel stuck in the back of your throat for the rest of your life?
13. Have permanent clown face or permanent clown clothes?
14. Watch your parents having sex every night or join in once to stop it?
15. Have no one show up to your wedding or your funeral?
16. Be able to fly or read minds?
17. Know the date of your death or cause of your death?
18. Have more time or more money?
19. Be the smartest person or the hottest person?
20. Be half your height or double your weight?
21. Have a rewind for your life or a pause button for your life?
22. Have free Starbucks for a year or iTunes for a year?
23. Always know when someone is lying or always get away with lying?
24. Always be underdressed or always be overdressed?
25. Be able to talk to animals or speak every human language?
26. Have an excellent relationship with terrible sex or have a terrible relationship with excellent sex?
27. Talk like Yoda or breathe like Darth Vader?
28. Be Hermoine Granger or Katniss Everdeen?
29. Be a mermaid or have a pet unicorn?
30. Be a wizard or a ninja?
31. Never have sex or never find true love?
32. Be fluent in all languages or be a master of every musical instrument?
33. Work as a cashier for the rest of your life or work as a prostitute for 5 years?
34. Be friend-zoned by your crush or have your best friend fall in love with you (but you don’t feel the same way)?
35. Wear only 80’s clothes or wear only 80’s hairstyles?
36. Get rid of all the bad/unsafe drivers on the roads or never have to wait in line for anything?
37. Have a personal chef or personal chauffeur?
38. Make 1 new law or get rid of 1 current law?
39. Be able to shower once a month or never see your reflection?
40. Have your crush date your best friend or have your crush date your worst enemy?
i can’t be the only person who really hates doing life after midnight
i’m here like:
change into pjs: i don’t wanna
drink some water: i don’t wanna
brush my teeth: i don’t wanna
floss: DON’T. WANNA.